In Today's Issue
- Parsha Talk 1 - Eikev: Dependent on Him More than the Animals
- Parsha Talk 2 - Eikev: Are you with Me or with Her?
- Tips of the Day: Sober for over a year
- Daily Dose of Dov: How much more are you willing to take?
|
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parsha Talk 1: Eikev
Dependent on Him More than the Animals
"V'nashal Hasem Elokecha ess hagoyim ha'el m'at m'at, lo suchal kalosam maheir pen tirbeh alechah chayas hasadeh. (7:22) - And Hashem will wipe out the goyim from before you slowly but surely, but you cannot destroy them quickly, lest the animals of the field increase upon thee".
I always wondered about this. After all, if Hashem can bring the 10 plagues on Egypt and split the sea, why can't he wipe out the goyim in Eretz Yisrael in one fell swoop? Is Hashem really worried about the increase of the animals? Is that something harder to deal with then getting rid of these great nations?
It occurred to me that maybe there is a far deeper meaning here. All the creations of the world have a connection to Hashem based on their needs. The more someone "needs" Hashem, the more connection they have with him. Hashem told the snake after the sin of the Etz Hada'as "and you shall eat the dust of the earth all the days of your life", and Rashi explains that Hashem wanted no connection with the snake and therefore gave him his food wherever he goes. However, the other animals of the field need to ask Hashem for food every day, as it says in Tehillim "Livakesh Mikel Ochlam" - "they ask from Hashem their food".
Now Hashem wanted human beings to have even more connection with him than the animals, and therefore humans don't have a natural way to get food like the animals do, but rather are dependant on owning land, toiling the soil, rainfall, and on a good crop and harvest. In last week's Parsha, one of the praises mentioned of Eretz Yisrael is "Limtar Hashamayim Tishteh Mayim" - "From the heavens you will drink water", and the Pasuk goes on to say - "not like Eretz Mitzrayim which drinks like a watered garden from the Nile". But why is that a praise? It would seem that Mitzrayim is more fortunate than Israel! The answer is that Hashem wants more of a connection with us than he wants with the Egyptiams. To them he gave them the Nile river so that they don't need rain fall at all and don't need Hashem at all. However, Eretz Yisrael drinks from the heavens, and like it says; "the eyes of Hashem are on the land [of Israel] from the beginning of the year until the end". Eretz Yisrael needs special divine intervention for water, and the praise of this is that the Jewish people living there are always dependant on Hashem for rainfall and therefore remain strongly connected with him. After all, like it says in last weeks Parsha, "and you will receive buildings that you didn't build, wells which you didn't dig, vineyards that you didn't plant, etc..." and the Yidden will have everything they need in Eretz Yisrael. If they weren't dependant on Hashem at least for rainfall, they would no longer need him and quickly forget him.
The same applies with our enemies. And that is why it says in this weeks Parsha that although Hashem will wipe out the goyim from before us slowly but surely, still, he will not destroy them fast - "lest the animals of the field increase upon thee". What this perhaps means is, that if Hashem would wipe out our enemies all at once, we would no longer feel a need to depend on him. The words "lest the animals of the field increase upon thee" mean to hint perhaps, that if Hashem would destroy our enemies fast then even the animals of the field would "increase" over us, meaning that the animals would have even more of a connection with Hashem than we would.
And that is why Hashem has given us the Yetzer Hara as well. He wants a connection with us! He wants us to know that we need him, and that without his constant help, we are lost. And that is also why Hashem doesn't destroy the Yetzer Hara in one fell swoop once a person decides to do Teshuvah. Instead, each time we think we got rid of him, he keeps coming back again and again. Only "slowly but surely" does Hashem wipe him out from before us. For if Hashem would get rid of the Yetzer Hara all at once, we wouldn't need him any more and we wouldn't feel dependant on him. And this "connection" that we have to Hashem through our struggles with the Yetzer Hara, is even more important to Hashem than the falls that we have as a result of Him not removing the Yetzer Hara altogether as soon as we want to do Teshuvah.
To sum it all up: The most important thing to Hashem is not our progress in destroying the Yetzer Hara, but rather our dependency on him, and our constant knowledge that we need Hashem every day anew to help us break free of our #1 enemy. |
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parsha Talk 2: Eikev
Are you with Me of with Her?
By Honestmouse
'lema'an anoischo lenasoischo loda'as es asher bilvovcho lishmor mitsvoisov im loi' ' (8:2) ...in order to afflict you so as to test you, to know what is in your heart, whether you would observe His commandments or not'.
Hashem's tests in the midbar where in order to test klal yisroel, to bring out what was truly in their heart. Unfortunately, nowadays, in so many areas of avodas Hashem, so many of us are lacking in sincerity, out heart is not in the right place even if we are doing the right thing, it could be chesed or davening etc...
Hashem's nisyonos for us are to test what's really in our heart, is it true and genuine or is it only lip service. Instead of needing afflictions to bring out our deepest, genuine desires for good, if we would only fill our hearts with good and train ourselves to genuinely try to connect to Hashem and do His will all the time - even on a desert island - it would already be obvious where our hearts lay and we wouldn't need wake up calls all the time.
Perhaps every time we see a trigger, Hashem is asking us 'are you with Me, or are you with her?' If we would live with Him all the time, perhaps we wouldn't need to be asked this question...
|
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tips of the Day
Sober for over a year
By "Jooboy"
I have been sexually sober for over a year and have not purposely viewed pornography of any kind in over something like 7 months. The usual progression for me usually starts on the street and goes to internet news sites, which then goes to lust type of news, and from there it's a pretty quick trip to the real garbage and emotional and spiritual devastation. Not a pretty sight.
Eventually I saw how powerless I was over this cycle and joined SA which has been the most transforming emotional experience of my life. Having a fellowship of friends to turn to for support when the going gets rough is invaluable.
Although my wife and I are currently doing very well in our marriage, boruch Hashem, she feels that she currently needs space in the area of sex and it is very challenging for me.
What has helped me not only get through this, but grow in the process, is:
1) Journaling my feelings as needed, sometimes daily basis.
2) Meditation for at least 5-10 minutes in the morning.
3) Prayer - for freedom from lust, humility to accept God's will as expressed through those around me, especially my wife and children.
4) Surrender of any expectation of sex - EVER. Of course I don't really think this will last forever, I know that is not what my wife wants. But for myself, I have to be OK without it.
5) Vigilant custody of my eyes on the street. I have taken to removing my glasses when walking about NYC where there is really a lot of flesh on display all the time - it is working wonders.
6) Reading and re-reading and re-reading again the book "The Garden of Peace" - AMAZING!!! This book has been a real game changer for me. You can get it from Feldheim Publishers and I would strongly encourage you to read it. |
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Daily Dose of Dov Dov is sober in SA for over 13 years. See his story here.
How much more are you willing to take?
Someone wrote:
I don't care about my life. I just fell hard again. I could have called out for help......I CHOSE to fall all the way because it feels much better. If you're gonna fall, might as well fall all the way..... I give him so many chances and he takes the stupidest choice. What a dumb human..... I assure you, that of anyone on the forum, I am probably THE MOST MESSED UP..... Get a life! Geta life! Getalife! Getalife - you stupid idiot. Stop worshipping your pen**. I am dead.
Dov Responds:
That was beautiful, and, of course, I can't say I actually have pity for you, for I have been there by my own hand, as well.
"Chose to fall"? I seriously doubt you there. But hey - I can afford to be brutally honest with you now because with such self-loathing how could I possibly insult you? Hah.
Should you actually muster up all his "courage" and "strength" not to fall, I venture to ask: "would you still fall flat on your face, eventually?" Is this a negative attitude? I think not. I was convinced that I was the worst of the worst, too - but have a great life now, nonetheless. The hopelessness of finding real help was nonsense. So in my own case, the whole self-pity thing is pure BS. It's just another way we try to protect our right to keep acting out with lust - "we can't do any better cuz we suck"... it's a lie. With help, we can. On the condition that we give up insisting that we need to be the one's doing it. The folks who totally misunderstand the "I'm powerless over lust/alcohol/whatever" idea, totally miss the point and think that such an admission boils down to a "heter". Actually, it's quite the opposite, and in their hearts I believe they are just too chicken to accept that a real way out actually exists! The idea of actually saying goodbye to this crap scares the hell out of them. I know because it happened to me. A gripping fear of missing out on finally getting my lust fulfillment was always under my skin....
So, if you really feel that badly about yourself and about "worshiping your penis", if you really are disgusted by the person you think you see in the mirror, then I'd say, "Hey - might as well give up on your ego and "self-respect" all the way (as I had to) and meet with other penis-temple drop-outs - who don't act out anymore!
Instead of just saying it, actually treat yourself as "THE MOST MESSED UP" around, and get your butt to a meeting - or whatever else you believe might help. That is, unless you really can hate yourself a bit more. In that case, take your sweet time! I did!
If you really think you are worse than the rest of us on the forum, then I say forgo the ego-protection of virtuality on the forum - and go to either an SA meeting nearest you, or whatever other help your heart tells you is out there, today. Throw away the fear and the squeamish shame that may have been holding you back from your medicine. Whatever recovery tool you are protecting yourself from, it's high time you gave up and got to it, man. How much more are you willing to take?
Love,
Dov |
|
No comments:
Post a Comment